Lineliz Vassallo 00:00
But I remember looking at their intake forms. These were like Harvard educated people, Emory educated people, like people who've done their PhDs, people have gotten Harvard law degrees and you know what they had on their intake forms? I feel stupid. I don't feel that smart. And I my mind was blown
Bridget Moroney 00:23
actually makes me want to cry a little.
Lineliz Vassallo 00:26
It made me want to cry. And it also, like encouraged me to realize, okay, maybe I do have something to teach these people.
Bridget Moroney 00:37
Welcome to the performance RX podcast where the conversations are about health, nutrition and mindset for anyone who considers themselves an athlete in the most elite competitors to those who are simply seeking to improve their physical performance. We hope the knowledge shared on this show will empower you to reach your athletic potential. Thank you so much for tuning in. Now for today's episode. Hey, everyone, welcome to today's show. I'm your host, Bridget Moroney. And today my guest is my good friend and very fun friend Lineliz Vassallo. Lineliz is a speaker, writer and mindfulness teacher focused on mindset development to elevate your impact. Her work is focused on creating and sustaining consistent habits, taming your inner critic and Milton creative blocks. She is a certified teacher of mindfulness based stress reduction through the center of mindfulness at the University of California, San Diego School of Medicine. She served as a mind body and mindfulness programs coordinator at Georgia State University for about four and a half years where her main focus was improving mental health and wellness throughout the campus. Today, her purpose has evolved and she's developing systems for entrepreneurs and creatives to get out of their own way to free themselves from all the ways in which they're holding themselves back from joy, peace, self expression, and vitality. Hey, just a little heads up here. This podcast was actually originally an Instagram Live. So I've gone ahead and edited down to quite a bit. But if you hear anything kind of strange if we're talking to someone or making comments to other people that aren't involved in the conversation, we're not talking to the voices in our head. We're just responding to the people who were in the chat and engaging with the IG live. Either way, this was a really awesome conversation. And so it was just too good to let it be on Instagram by itself. And so I made into a podcast I hope you enjoy. So what last week was an impromptu IG live? Talking about inner critic and then today is a continuation not so impromptu. Just, you know, continuation of that discussion. And, and you were talking about? Was it mindfulness, self compassion?
Lineliz Vassallo 02:59
Oh, yeah. Mindful self compassion. Yes.
Bridget Moroney 03:01
I don't know if that was at the podcast you're on.
Lineliz Vassallo 03:04
No, I was on a podcast with this. The coolest two dudes on the planet, they started this company called Calm Scholar. And they, they're just so inspiring. Like, they're they're, like 28 and they are like devoting their lives to making this website that connects meditation teachers, to students as like coaches and that's cool. Yeah, and they just started their podcast this week. And oh my god, it was so good. Like I thought we could keep talking for hours and hours like they just had
Bridget Moroney 03:47
Apparently you did.
Lineliz Vassallo 03:53
So cute. They are so cute. I just I feel like you know, it's a weird thing. I don't know. It was just talk I don't know tell me to Shut up if I'm getting off topic. Um, I just feel like there's such a beautiful energy with connecting with younger people because I feel like so much of like my professional life has always been looking to those who are elder for guidance or like so always always kind of learning from either people that are older or people that are my age, but there's there's like a kind of a cool energy. Like, I think it escapes me that you know, like, people well into their late 20s are significantly younger than me
Bridget Moroney 04:57
Yeah. Oh, Yeah, I mean, they have like that that fresh perspective, right? Yes. Done doesn't always have to come from experience. Although I guess that maybe is the definition of wisdom. But we'll say we'll say insight perhaps.
Lineliz Vassallo 05:14
Yeah.
Bridget Moroney 05:16
So awesome. Well, yeah, let's, I mean, whatever you want to chat about, you know, if you want to continue, I guess the to kind of blend together as far as the inner critic. And then I guess I'm assuming the antidote to that is is Mindful self compassion? Because obviously, you know, any source the, the opposite of criticism, is that compassion?
Lineliz Vassallo 05:44
Yeah. Oh, my God, there's so much to say, well, obviously, I didn't get to read all the all that I wanted to read. That podcast for two hours, but I mean, I've done the teacher training, so I've you ideally I should know. Um, but yeah, like, it's so fascinating. Like, that's why I really wanted to, like, really just soak in the books, even though I've done the teacher training and, and have taken the course itself twice. There's something about reading that really solidifies things for me. So I actually feel like one of the reasons I got so into meditation is because there's so much to read about it. Like, there's so fascinating material from like, the spiritual side, and from the scientific side, like it's Yeah, simulating on both sides. Yeah. So yeah, I mean, just and that's what this book is, too. I mean, it derives from like, the idea of compassion. This very, not that it's only Buddhist, but it tends to be a centering theme of Buddhism. Really? did. Yeah, compassion.
Bridget Moroney 06:57
I didn't know that. I mean, I'm not. I know a little bit about Buddhism, but I'm not, you know, as you know, not a very, you know, in depth scholar there. But that's, that's a central theme in Buddhism.
Lineliz Vassallo 07:10
Yeah. And maybe in some sects, more, sects, S E C T S people Chill. I have a side story about Buddhist sex, I'll tell that in a minute. I think some sects are more, more compassion focused than others, like I think Tibetan Buddhism, Tibetan, is to be much more compassion, focus them, for example, maybe zen number I'm not a scholar either. But just from my limited experience of both, it seems like that one is much more like compassion based.
Bridget Moroney 07:53
Yeah. That makes sense. Kind of Yeah. My very, very, you know, just much limitation, limited understanding of it, like the little glimpse that I have gotten of Buddhism, like, I'll be honest, I'm going off of what I watched in the movie Seven Years in Tibet. That's that's educational, right? Yes. counts as a study spiritual study. Anyway,
Lineliz Vassallo 08:25
the spiritual study of Brad Pitt, in his prime what are we saying? Oh, okay. So compassion. So yeah, this self compassion is, is is all about compassion. So we tend to have so much compassion for other people, like our friends, when they're struggling, our family members, when they're struggling, when they make a mistake, when they have a failure when, when things are not going well, we tend to have so much compassion for our loved ones or friends, when we're going through the same thing. Where where's that compassionate person, like, we don't tend to get around on ourselves. And to be that comforting, supportive, soothing, encouraging, friend and presence to ourselves, when we've made a mistake when we're suffering when we have are going through something difficult. So that's a really central premise of Mindful self compassion is that you are and doesn't necessarily have to be mindful self compassion, like that's a specific program, but like, self compassion in general is, is being able to turn that compassion that you innately have for other people toward yourself. So be able to treat yourself the way that you would treat a dear friend mm. In, especially in moments of suffering. So yeah, it's huge. And it's huge, because so the inner critic is like, I think, and I think so many people don't even realize how loud it is because I think, in many ways, meditation helps you to realize how bullying and bitchy this voice can really be. So I heard it said once, because so there's a self compassion, and there, there's Mindful self compassion. And there's Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, there are two really big programs and like the secular mindfulness training in like, hospitals and organizations and things. And I remember because I remember when I first got interested in self compassion I was, and that that program is much more about developing self compassion, it's less about meditating less about being mindful and more about being kind to yourself. And so I remember wondering, like, you know, between the MBSR program and the Mindful Self Compassion, MSC program, like which, like who I remember asking some, like a leader in those programs, like, who had experience in leadership, and both of them like, what would you recommend? For, you know, certain people? And and what would you recommend? First, would you recommend medic, like deep, going deep into meditation first and mindfulness? Or would you recommend going more into self compassion first. And they said, there are some people whose inner critic is so loud, that it makes it impossible for them to meditate. Hmm. And first of all, for those people, it's probably best to start with self compassion, and then learn mindfulness and meditation. And I remember thinking that that was such a huge insight. Because, I mean, I came into self compassion way after having been heavily into mindfulness, mindfulness meditation. Well, self compassion actually naturally develops as a byproduct of practicing mindfulness and meditation, like without having to really bring it about. But, and that was something I noticed, like, I remember being so amazed at how suddenly I was so much nicer to myself, even though I wasn't anything new in my life. Besides meditating, I remember thinking, wow, because when you think about it, you know, like, when your mind wanders, it gets distracted, and you bring it back. The instruction is to bring your attention back gently. Kindly right?
Bridget Moroney 13:06
Not sit there and be like what are you doing?
Lineliz Vassallo 13:09
Right? And that's, yeah, that's what so many people like they come out of a meditation. And they're like, Oh, my mind was wandering the whole time. That meditation sucked, And, like, Wow, it sounds like your inner critic is really loud. You know, I mean, because instead of bringing their attention back, they were kind of berating themselves the whole time about where their mind was. Yeah, so anyway. But okay, so for most people, the beginning stages of mindfulness and meditation is very much learning to redirect your attention kindly, gently, learning to have a firm redirection, but a kind one. So like, the way you would train a puppy, you want to be firm, but kind. This you're disciplining them but in a in a gentle and kind way. So that's so anyway, that that constantly bringing your attention back in a kind way really helps you to develop a compassionate kind attitude towards yourself. Because when your mind wanders, you're like, oh, just come back. Say you'd like if you miss it. Make a mistake in life. Oh, okay. Well just get back on track. Or yeah, fell off your diet plan your your exercise plan. Oh, okay. Well, just come on back. No big deal. It's Okay. You know, I think so self compassion happens naturally, just as an byproduct of a meditation practice. But for people whose self critic is like, monstrous, and they just can't sit in a meditation because it's It turns into like, just massively uncomfortable experience where the inner critic is just like throwing trash the whole time. That's when it's better to focus on self compassion first. And, and developing a kinder attitude, an understanding attitude toward yourself a compassionate engagement with your with yourself and your mind, your body, your, your everything. So I don't remember what the question was.
Bridget Moroney 15:37
I don't either. But I don't think there was really a question. I think it was just kind of talking about mindfulness or Mindful self compassion versus mind. And we kind of did. And you started to explain, kind of the two are, are almost there. They're different. I, you know, there's the the the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course. And then there's also the Mindfulness based, self compassion. But so it was before I ask, you know, before I asked just a couple of things, I mean, yeah, I wholeheartedly agree. I, you know, I think, and I see what you're saying, like the two are almost, unless you have when I, from what I'm understanding, what you're trying to say is like, unless you have a very harsh, loud inner critic, if you're if you start off with mindfulness, it's, you're going to inherently become more self compassionate because of how mindfulness and meditation operate. Right that, like you said, that the gentle redirecting, but also something that came up for me that I thought of is, what I learned is it, you know, through meditation is, is letting go of the expectation, right? There's no right or wrong way to do it. At least the guided meditations that I've worked through. And, and also, like, when you start to do it, you know, for I know, you know, but for anyone listening or watching, there's different types of meditations, right, there's body scans, there's loving kindness, there's like, and then you kind of tap into like, there's, I forget what it's called. And you can probably say it, but it's like, when will you notice your own thoughts. But then there's also one where you notice your emotions. And the way I learned that is you just notice the emotions, you're not saying like, Oh, this is a negative emotion, I shouldn't be feeling it, or this is a good emotion, I want you, it's just noticing. And so anyway, so So going back to the self compassion, just letting go of the expectation of I'm doing it right, or I'm doing it wrong, I think, aids in that because for or speaking from my own experience, having that inner critic, that's where it comes from, is you're not doing this the right way. So letting go of the the expectation during meditation and mindfulness, I think also adds into that that self compassion as a byproduct. And then also, you're just you're just naturally again, my, in my opinion, are naturally more grounded. And patient. Right. So yeah, so if you're just, you know, your your threshold of patience is kind of I guess it would be greater not lessened. But, um, but yeah, um, I don't know. I don't know if that makes sense. Or,
Lineliz Vassallo 18:18
yeah, no, definitely. So yeah, mindfulness and meditation helped me become more self compassionate, but then listen to this
Bridget Moroney 18:34
almost spit out my water.
Lineliz Vassallo 18:38
By learning self compassion as an explicit Skill versus an implicit skill. I realized how, how much more self compassionate, I could be. Like, even though I had come so far, with mindfulness and meditation, there was still there's still somany ways that I didn't realize I was being really self critical or, or not compassionate with myself. So that was eye opening to like, whoa, like, as far as they came with this, there was there's still so much more as far as how much kinder and you know, encouraging I could be toward myself. Yeah.
Bridget Moroney 19:24
So how would you say that? So that's, you know, how to segue into that, how would someone whether they want to go a little bit deeper with the self compassion, or if they, because I kind of find this and you know, I can speak on that later, but I feel like that's kind of where I'm at with my meditation and going back to that expectation side. So and I find this a lot also with, you know, in talking to people who are athletes or are training for something serious. It always happens after an injury. And, so there's because you reached a certain level of strength or skill or whatever, and you're injured or so you have whatever, some sort of setback in your life, and all of a sudden you're back in the beginner. And, you know, in my experience, and like I said, in talking to others, um, there is, there is a lack of grace and self compassion there. It may not be like, Oh, I'm, you know, I suck, but it's just, it's just there's that frustration and disappointment of, you know, I'm all the way back here. And, you know, there's, there's that there is a criticism, I guess you could say, right? It's like, I shouldn't be doing this. And I was having this conversation with someone last week, where all of a sudden, you know, talking about those expectations. It's like, well, I used to be able to do this, and I can't do this at the moment. So why even bother? Why try? And that becomes self defeating because then you're, you know, if you are someone who's who's training for something specific, you obviously aren't making progress and training at all. Like, there's there's other avenues. So having, you know, again, in my opinion, I think it's, you know, trying to have that self compassion. No, because we are all human. And I think when it comes to like injuries and things like that, it's not a matter of if, but when these things happen, right. So one doesn't want to be just constantly like playing catch up. But But I guess, also, so talking about the meditation expectation, too, you know, like I mentioned, last week, I was on a roll and like having some like, I felt like some pretty good meditation sessions, and then went on a hiatus. And now it's, again, that expectation of like, oh, well, I used to be able to meditate for like, you know, 30 minutes and get into a really deep state. And now I can barely hold my attention for five minutes. So how could someone I guess, as an explicit skill, develop that, that self compassion so that they could, whether it is for meditation down the line, or something like perform, or whatever it is, you know, how, how could you do that?
Lineliz Vassallo 22:21
Right? Oh, great question. Well, I think one of the central practices in is what's called the self compassion break. So what it means. So there are three elements of self compassion, it's mindfulness. So it's one, having the mindfulness to recognize your suffering when you're suffering. So like having the mindfulness to realize, let's say, if I have an injury, that, you know, this sucks, this, I'm I am feeling frustrated, I'm feeling angry, I'm feeling sad, I'm feeling disappointed disillusioned , you know, being able to first be aware of all of the emotions, and then thoughts that are present. And then mindfulness piece, and then the second piece is common humanity. Like, what happens when we get disappointed, or we get upset, is we tend to feel very isolated, we tend to feel like we're the only one that has the experience, like, yeah. And so it's so common humanity is like, recognizing, there are so many other people in the world right now, going through the same thing. There's also many people in the past who've gone through this thing. And there are also future people who will be going through this. So like, yeah, like consciously recognizing that whatever you're going through is a common human experience. It's, it's, you are not unique in that suffering. That's actually it sounds weird, but it actually ends up being very comforting to recognize that you are not the first you're not the last. You are accompanied by you know, 1000s if not millions of other people going through the same thing right now. And so just kind of recognizing that instead of feeling like you've been singled out by life to receive this shitstorm and that, you know, or like if you have like a Catholic or religious upbringing, or like there's something you've done to bring this upon yourself, you know what I mean? Yeah, you know, whatever things people say to themselves and things like that happen.
Bridget Moroney 24:34
I was raised Catholic, I know what you're talking about. At least in my youth had those those thoughts or whatever of the, you know, vengeful diety.
Lineliz Vassallo 24:47
I remember being young and like something bad would happen. And I'd be like, Oh, that's because you know, I punched my brother last week or something. You know what I mean? Whatever. Totally. Yeah, this is the universe punishing me So there's mindfulness, common humanity. And then there's self kindness. So asking yourself the question, what do I need right now? How can I be kind to myself? So what do I need right now is like the quintessential question of self compassion. What do I need right now? Like, do I need to be around like encouraging friends? Do I need a warm soak in the tub? Do I need a nap? Do I need to distract myself with a movie? Like, really asking yourself the question, what do I need right now and doing something that answers that question. That's kind for you. So yeah, so it's not necessarily a meditation, but it's like this 3, 3, 3 segmented in practice, where in the moment that you recognize that you are in pain, emotionally, mentally, you recognize that you name it, name it to tame it. And then you recognize your common humanity. Like how many other athletes have been injured? And how many have even been injured in crazier situation? I mean, nothing is not about caring, but it's just about recognizing how common this actually is. And then, um, what do I need right now? Yeah. You know, how can I be kind to myself? Yeah, that's the basic, basic practice that if you practice it regularly, it, it becomes a natural way that you start to process things, when you notice that you're suffering going through something or you hear that inner critic getting ramped up.
Bridget Moroney 24:47
Yeah, I remembered, you know, going back to the common humanity is, you know, this is something that I've said in coaching sessions with, with other people, other clients in the past, it's just simply saying, like, Hey, you're not alone, you know, or just simply saying, you know, you know, simply saying, you know, you're not alone, or I see you and I see what, I think that those are common phrases that can be used, you know, by other people. But again, the the idea here is to say this, you know, or identify it yourself. So, here's a question.
Lineliz Vassallo 27:04
I see a glimmer in your eye it's about to be really fascinating question.
Bridget Moroney 27:41
It might, it might be a challenge, I might, I'm gonna put you on your toes a little possibly, oh, oh. You better wake it up, girl. So, I mean, I, you know, going through my own experience here, I feel you on that, you know, the awareness of the emotions. And it's interesting, well use my own, you know, current recent example with my knee injury, especially with the ACL because out do people who are active or training for a unit, you know, how devastating that can be. And so, it the, the physical therapist in the emergency room when I was there, she said, she's like, you're grieving. And I was like, you know, I kind of looked her and she's like, Yeah, she's like, Yo, think about she's like, You Are you she's like, you know, you're you're sad, you know, she's like, I saw you crying and you know, earlier, she's like, because at one point, I was getting really angry. I'm like, I'm just so angry and frustrated that this happened. I was angry at myself. I was just, you know, even though I didn't do anything wrong. I was just it was so it's such a stupid accident. Yeah, I was even kind of like, in a little bit of denial of like, no, the doctors, the doctors wrong, which kind of was a little Thankfully, it wasn't as clear as they had said, so. So that denial might have served me, but um, but just but just acknowledging that and then again, the common humanity, like, yeah, I am certainly not the only person in the world who has ever or will ever suffer an ACL rupture. And, and I and kind of going with the, you know, or it could be worse, like, and I felt like this worked the opposite on Well, I feel like, in my experience, it can kind of, like, Don't dwell on that too much. Like, I, what I mean by that is I was thinking about my injury, and how it's basically a temporary setback, and how there's so many other sports related or other kinds of catastrophic injuries that could permanently you know, just, you know, I mean, like, just think of like paralysis, right? There's, there's tragic, catastrophic. And so for a few days, I was walking around being like, well, you know, I shouldn't I shouldn't feel bad for myself because you know, other people have it harder and so my wife had to You know, gently remind me she's like, just because other people, you know, just because there's other types of suffering in the world doesn't mean that you're not allowed to feel your own suffering and grief as well. So I think that's something I feel like that's something to kind of remind ourselves of, because, you know, it is all relative, but I think allowing still being like, yes, it could be worse, but what I'm feeling right now is, you know, still Yeah, cold and, you know, acknowledging that. But so, so with that said, so kind of going into asking yourself what you need, and kind of going back to that inner critic, and you know, the other talk, because, you know, I'll use my own inner critic as an example. And again, kind of, I guess, not wanting to, you know, feel super indulgent, like, what would you say, if someone were to ask themselves, like, Oh, what do I what do I need right now? Oh, well, I need to take a nap or, you know, just lay it a bubble bath. And then when they're in that, you know, they're taking a nap or, you know, they wake up from the nap, or they're, you know, whatever, doing something that feels indulgent, they feel guilty, even though again, they have every right to be doing that, because one it's taking care of, you know, I guess I'm specifically saying like, maybe for like an injury in this case. I guess in any case, what would help? Because, again, that's going away from the self compassion spectrum.
Lineliz Vassallo 31:31
Right? Well, that's a great, that's a great question. So my, and I think this can be answered in many ways, but my initial my impulse, and my initial thought is first thought best thought, I like that, like, the first thought go to go with the answer is that learning self compassion is a journey. It's a process. It's like, the first time you do it, and it might feel unnatural, might feel corny, fake, it might feel it might feel so many different things. I know, for me, I feel almost cheesy. Being really kind to myself sometimes, like are corny, or? I don't know. Anyway. Yeah. And yeah, that guilt is real. And that's, you know, going into a bigger look at it's like capitalist guilt. Like, if we're not doing something productive, there's this. Why am I even then, you know,
Bridget Moroney 32:42
I will I won't share on on live stream, but I had a full on just moments, several moments yesterday. And yeah, anyway, continue. So yeah, there is that like guilt, or you know, their feelings? Yeah. Right.
Lineliz Vassallo 32:59
And so I think, you know, the first the first few times, and not just the first few times that I would say like in any stage of learning anything new. But specifically when it comes to mental and emotional well being and the practices around that. It can be more it can, it can be more challenging in the beginning, and it can, it can bring up more negative emotion in the beginning. So, and also because you're mindful, you're also a, because let's say like in the process of learning, Mindful self compassion, or mindfulness and meditation, because you're becoming more mindful, you're also more mindful of how much emotion you're actually going through. So even if you were already going through those emotions before you were mindful of them, now that you're mindful, it feels even more alive and vibrant for you. So it can be uncomfortable. Yeah. So okay, so you notice that you're feeling guilty? I would say to Okay, notice that notice that impulse to feel guilty as best you can, to not judge it to like you, you don't even recognize, like, you know, I mean, you could question you could say, Where did this come from? Or the thing that we talked about a lot, that that phrase that helps to soothe everything. Isn't that interesting?Isn't it Interesting, that I came here on a full vacation, and I'm sitting in a sauna. I'm sitting in the spa, and I'm feeling guilty. Even though I've worked 360 days this year, I feel guilty on vacation, because I could be doing ABCDEFG like, it's you know, there's so many people I've met, who are like that who like on vacation are thinking about all the things that they need to do when they get home or whatever it is, and so they're feeling guilty for getting too comfortable or relaxing too much on the weekend or whatever it is. So I would, I mean, I would just suggest to notice, notice the guilt and just kind of name it like you have little feather. Like, name it, acknowledge it. Okay, I see guilt is here. And that's interesting. And I'm going to continue to enjoy this soak, like so I think the important part is to not give the guilt all of your attention to not be consumed by it to choose to recognize its presence, but not engage wholeheartedly with it.
Bridget Moroney 35:36
Yeah. No, I love that. I mean, I mean, that that makes total sense. And, you know, you know, what I hear you're saying is it would like, like, so many things, it's, it's just kind of, it's a cyclical process, right? It's not just like, one two three done, okay, I've, I've, I've mastered self compassion, it's, it's a constant work. And, and again, with the mindfulness aspect of it, it's, it's, you know, it's that constant noticing, I can't remember the exact quote I heard today. But it was related to, to healing. And it was kind of like, along those lines of, you know, as you kind of go through certain things, and you're, you know, kind of uncovering, and you know, that awareness builds, you're going to feel or notice it more. But that doesn't mean anything, it doesn't mean you're on the wrong path or anything else like that. Like, it's I forget the exact quote, it's just, you know, it's just part of the process of uncovering all of that. So no, I love that. Man, that's good stuff. So, um, so kind of going back to the, you know, the beginning, a little so. So, um, someone is, you know, someone who's trying to be more mindful, grounded and improve that that type of skill, if, if they're able to, to get started with meditation and do something like that, without too much issue, then intrinsically they'll or you know, it, was it not intrinsically as a natural byproduct? That's self compassion is is built into it. But if there is, if that inner critic is too strong, you know, and it's interfering with building that mindfulness practice, then kind of taking a step back, and using those three steps can help towards it. Oh,
Lineliz Vassallo 37:47
yeah, for sure. For sure. Definitely. And so like, one of the things about self compassion is like, Well, what do I need right now? And maybe, maybe, you know, maybe what you what you need. But let's say you're meditating. And your inner critic comes up, and it's so loud and so obnoxious that you just can't like, if you if you go through that three step process, and you get to the third question, what do I need right now, maybe what you need is to get up and not continue to meditation. But they will, that might not be an option in the world of mindfulness and meditation, like you sit. So this school of thought is like, you sit and you stay with the practice. Because when you sit and stay with the practice, that's how you learn about yourself. That's how you learn impulse control. That's how you that's how you, you learn how to stay present, despite the desires of the mind and the heart. And like, that's how you are able to see your behaviors from like a witnessing point of view. And that's where you learn so much. And that's so much of what I've been trained in with self compassion is like, well, if you're feeling like shit, don't continue to meditation, like Go, go, do something that you need right now. And maybe what you need right now is a snack, or, and so, it it is a really, it is a really refreshing and helpful thing because as much as the discipline, and the self awareness of meditation is so useful and important in life. It's also like equally, if not more important, to develop a kinder relationship to ourselves. Hmm, because what ultimately causes so much of depression and anxiety is this voice of you should be you should be further on by now. And you should have created that thing already. You should have had your bank account stacked like this by now. You should have been done that yesterday like what is my inner critic is a little it's a little gremlin from like North Philly. I don't know like I
Bridget Moroney 40:35
I heard a talking about the shoulds. I heard a quote a long, long time ago. I guess this is kind of like maybe my first intro to I guess, looking at hindsight, maybe a little bit of self compassion or learning learning that but the quote was don't should on yourself. Yes. Should on yourself. Yeah, yes. I have to remind myself that because yeah, you do. It's a it's like, oh, I shouldn't I should have been doing this. Or you know, it's it's, man. that should will get you
Lineliz Vassallo 41:11
For real. I mean, that's one of those things I would that's worthy of a tattoo. Cuz
Bridget Moroney 41:17
don't should on
Lineliz Vassallo 41:18
yourself, don't should on yourself.
Bridget Moroney 41:23
That actually, I might put that like on like, my arm or something I'm looking down.
Lineliz Vassallo 41:28
Yeah, I like to put tattoo where I visibly see them. So I am visibly reminded, because when I tatoo myself, it's for me to be reminded, oh, it has to be somewhere where I can see it. Like, yeah. Oh, my God. Well, and
Bridget Moroney 41:48
I guess, you know, I mean, this is like a whole other conversation. But I feel you know that at least those specific shoulds that you brought up, it's, you know, that inner critic is maybe a little bit of environment, but there's, there's that societal that that narrative from society. Right.
Lineliz Vassallo 42:06
Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my gosh, oh, who's I was talking about this with somebody the other day, or there's like, you can almost pinpoint where the different critics have come from. Hmm. I mean, the the psychology, you know, says that, you know, a large part of our inner critic is maybe a parent or caregiver that was particularly critical. But yep. Yeah. In addition to that, there's, like you said, there's society, there's, you know, the gender roles that we're trying to maybe trying to live up to, or there's the ethnic or racial roles that we feel like, we need to be upholding? Or like, the, um, what's it called? The kind of like, I mean, there's just so many, I mean, the beauty standards, yeah. I mean, it's never ending
Bridget Moroney 43:10
That came to me just a second ago. Like, you're not, oh, I was just gonna say, that came to me. When you mentioned beauty standards, I was thinking a lot of like, enough, like, you know, that sometimes, you know, for, you know, people who identify as female or, you know, for people who, you know, who identify as women, like, there's like, you're not blank enough, right? It's like, whatever it is, there's just that enoughness or lack thereof, I feel like is like one of the criticisms that gets spun around. There's, there's so much depth and so many layers to it. Um, I guess, you know, in closing,
Lineliz Vassallo 43:50
in closing, I think I would like to normalize the inner critic, because I think that so many, and as part of that common humanity piece, I think so many people think that they're the only one who has this inner critic, like so many. In all of the classes that I've taught, after each meditation, we tend to have like a 15 minute discussion about what that meditation was like for you. What did you notice about yourself? What did you notice about your mind, etc. And inevitably, what comes up is, oh, my God, I kept getting so mad at myself, like, I kept getting so distracted, and it was so difficult and you know, and, you know, I kept feeling like, I can't meditate, it kept feeling like I was stupid, like, how come I can't do this and that it ends up that everyone ends up voicing their inner critic, and it's like mind blowing for everyone in the class to recognize that they're not the only one that has a shit talking voice in their head. And it's like We walk through life thinking that it's only me that talks to myself. Like, it's like, I'm the only one that has this constant, whatever it's going on for everyone. It's I mean, it's very rare. It's very rare. I mean, there's studies that have been done, but it's almost maybe it's a very small percentage, I want to say like, maybe 7% of people that don't have much of an inner critic, but
Bridget Moroney 45:32
they must have been raised in and be like, no culture or society. And then all right, my parents that are like, the most empathetic humans ever, and we're able to, like, care for this child's every emotional need. I'm serious. Like, yeah, ya know, like, even people, in my opinion, even even people raised with, you know, some of the most ideal, you know, family circumstances still have that inner critic, because it's just, there's, there's things that are going to be said, or, you know, there's, there's, there's, you know, perceived expectations and things like that. It's, I don't know, I, I love, I love that idea of normalizing the, the inner critic, and because it is, it is, you know, and making that that, you know, emphasizing that common humanity of it, like, it's, it's always something that and maybe because it's so internal, and it can be so loud and so harsh. For many people, it's, it's very easy to forget that other people don't suffer from that. And I think part of it's also, you know, especially we have, yeah, just the way society is kind of formatted, and you know, social, from everything from social media, to the regular media to you see these people that look like they're killing it, but they go through it. And, you know, one of the, I've heard this as a statistic is, women go through it more so, or it's very common, but I wonder if that's almost maybe, like, maybe misleading data? Like, maybe it's, I guess, I'm, I have no idea, but I'm wondering or challenging. Like, if it's, you know, again, that kind of a gender role thing of like, maybe during the studies, the the male, you know, subjects just didn't admit to having that, that inner critic, I don't know, but, but but I think it's also maybe it maybe depends on the culture, or the society too, because this is something so, you know, going and talking about, like the business world, and, and this isn't necessarily the inner critic, but I think it's a manifestation of what the inner critic can do. So my wife, this was years ago, and I thought this was very interesting. She was listening to like, a women in in business leadership, like a TED talk or something for her company, and this woman was talking about, you know, I guess, you when you look at leadership, why are there enough? Or why are there? Why are there so many more male leaders versus, you know, female leaders and everything else like that. And one of the things that was discussed is, you have to, you have to apply for those promotions, right? To be the CEO, you don't just start off, so you kind of climb your way to the top there? Well, the the idea came up, that when it comes to applying for jobs, women won't apply, unless they're 100% qualified, you know, I'm talking about like, you know, skills experience, things like that. And even then, it's like, you know, why aren't you applying for this job? You'd be so it's like, I don't know if you know, whereas men, they they found out, you know, will apply, like, only 70% qualified. So they Yeah, so they may have only you know, but So, again, you know, maybe it is a you know, a difference of inner critic or maybe it's kind of like a society thing where, you know, you know what, again, I guess this society has an influence on your inner critic, you know, if you're constantly told by society like, oh, you know, you can do it, it's great. And then again, going back to that enough, like, you're not smart enough, you're not, you know, assertive enough or you're too much, you know, talking about women here specifically. Um, I don't know I found it I found it interesting. So going back to the whole normalizing, I kind of want on a big old tangent there. Round and round what
Lineliz Vassallo 49:54
I do, I Oh, go ahead. Oh, okay, so I just thought of something that came to mind that I want to I want to clarify, as far as normalizing to. So I said, like 7% of people don't have an inner critic. But that's not exactly what I meant to say. So I think the research that was done shows that like, more than half, so let's say, I don't know, like 60 70% of people are less self compassionate to themselves than they are to a friend. And then there's so meaning more people are more harsh on themselves than they are to friends, like it maybe more harsh on themselves not so compassionate. So majority of people are not self compassionate, then there's like a, I don't know, like a 20% that are. Forget what it is. But basically, that 7% are people who are who are more compassionate to themselves than they are to anyone else. Hmm. So that that's the rare piece. So, you know, they could, they could potentially still have an inner critic, but they, but maybe, you know, it's May, it's may not be as harsh, yeah. It may not be as vial and tend to be kinder to themselves and others, but that that is the rarest. And the least amount of people are in that category, like you said. And that brings me as far as normalizing. So there was this, there's this conference that is constantly quoted in the mindfulness community, that a student of mine, like he totally debunked the power of it. Like, the mindfulness community loves to tell the story over and over again, and my student debunked everything. And I was like, damn, let's, we need to put this on blast. So
Bridget Moroney 51:53
I love a good debunking. Let's go.
Lineliz Vassallo 51:55
Yeah, so this is what they said. So apparently, like in the 1970s, there was like this big international psychological conference with like, therapists, psychologists from all over the world, and the Dalai Lama. And all of these therapists and psychologists were talking about the inner critic. And the Dalai Lama was like, massively confused, he was like, what? You have this voice that talk shit to you all day and makes you feel like crap. He's like, he's like, Oh, this is this is alien, like this is this is not the way and you know, like, basically, kind of come saying that in Eastern culture, this isn't a thing or like, Buddhism, people don't have this problem. I mean, that's not what I said. But that is what the people has garnered, then that, you know, self criticism was a uniquely Western concept, you know, and, and that, you know, the East has it all together.
Bridget Moroney 53:04
I didn't mean to like scoffing at the East. I just did in general, because, you know,
Lineliz Vassallo 53:08
right, yeah, there's still like, but so many people bought it. Even I, when I first heard the story, I bought into it, because I was like, Well, yeah, I mean, because we think like, it sounds. It makes sense. Like, because apparently he was so visibly shocked. And, and it was like, oh, okay, so the inner critic is a Western phenomenon. You know, we've had, you know, all kinds of crazy reasons to have an inner critic. Okay. Yeah, I remember telling the story to a student from India. Hmm. And he, like, starts shaking his head. He said, you realize who you're talking about? And I said, What do you mean, he's like, you realize that the Dalai Lama was considered a god from the moment he was born. Like that man. He's been treated like a god his whole life. What would he have in a critic? Why would he? Like, why would that resonate with him in any way? Not only is he, a god from birth, or seen and treated in that way. But he's also lived in the lap of luxury and lived being honored and esteemed and respected wherever he goes, of course, he doesn't have and inner ciritic. Yeah.
Bridget Moroney 54:29
So and his whole and his whole, like, I mean, think about, like, what he represents, like, his whole life's purpose is around, like, showing love. And so going back to, like we said in the beginning, you know, it just kind of, you know, innately gets developed. So, yeah, I mean, no, that makes that makes a lot of sense. I mean, I, you know, and I don't want to speak for other people, but, you know, speaking of Asian students, and you know, having been having been a teacher, to, you know, students of Eastern cultures. And again, I can't speak for what's in their head or in their heart, but just kind of observing their behavior and their self talk. I, I would say that it's yeah, it's, it's not solely a Western thing. For sure. So, yeah,
Lineliz Vassallo 55:19
this is a human thing.
Bridget Moroney 55:21
It is a Yeah. But you know, you know, and I guess I was gonna say this earlier before I kind of like went off on a big old tangent there. But Dalai Lama aside, when you do see someone who you think is, you know, killing it, and then you hear these stories, that they had their own inner critic, and they were like, so insecure one, it's, it's like mind blowing, like, one of my favorites is, is Maya Angelou, the, the author, one of the greatest American authors of all time, right. And so, you know, just, you know, and hearing her speak, you know, she just had, like, such a presence, and she was, you know, just always came across as, not, I guess, like a quiet confidence there. But it's like, you know, she's go her shit together. But there's not one from her that every time she published a new book, she was she was convinced that it was not going to be success that people were going to find out that she ran a game on them. You know, again, like one of like, the brilliant, you know, insightful poetic minds, you know, who has like this gift of language? It's like, what are you talking about? What's
Lineliz Vassallo 56:43
amazing? Yes, I love thank you for reminding me of that quote. Because I remember loving that quote for a while and be like, if that's what she thought, then you got me like, yeah, it's very, I mean, it's encouraging, in a sense,
Bridget Moroney 56:57
I think it's encouraging. Because I mean, you know, I think, yeah, I mean, she's someone that I obviously admire and respect, and it's like, okay, like, at the end of the day, she's, she's, she's human, you know, and she's going, you know, and there's so many people there. And also, on the opposite side of that, too, you know, there's people who just throw caution to the wind, just go out there and do it. And maybe they don't have an inner critic, or they don't have as strong of an inner critic, or maybe they don't have as strong of an inner critic in that moment. And they are not Maya Angelou caliber, I am sorry to say, but, but at the same time, I do admire, they're there. They're brave, you know, they're there. They're just, you know, a lack of criticism, you know, inner critic, they're there to put themselves out there. And, and, yeah, I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's such a delicate balance, right, because it's really, like we talked about last week, like the inner critic, keeps you safe, but then you never grow and develop. Yeah. Right.
Lineliz Vassallo 58:04
That's so good. Um, I don't mind continuing to talk so much that it's another thought that came up.
Bridget Moroney 58:11
Oh, no, you're fine. Um, I just didn't want to wear you down.
Lineliz Vassallo 58:15
No, I'm good. I'm good. Yeah, I love that quote, by her and I, I've always wanted to tell other students this. So like, whenever I do intake forms for my classes, I'll ask a bunch of questions. And one of those questions is like, like, what are some of your biggest worries or concerns? Or like, what's what's like, what's keeping you up at night? What's on your mind? Yeah. And I have literally, I don't. So this is a case of impostor syndrome, which was also the inner critic, but I remember when I was first teaching MBSR, some of the people like, I had neuroscientists in my class. And I remember feeling like, like, I'm running a game on these people. Like, I was like, how am I teaching a roomful of like, neuroscientists, and professors and lawyers, like this is insane. And so yeah, but I remember looking at their intake forms. These are like, Harvard educated people, Emory educated people, like people who've done their PhDs people gotten Harvard law degrees, and you know what they had on their intake forms? I feel stupid. I don't feel that smart in my mind was
Bridget Moroney 59:33
actually makes me want to cry a little.
Lineliz Vassallo 59:36
Yeah, it made me want to cry. And it also, like encouraged me to realize, okay, maybe I do have something to teach these people. Yeah, you know what I mean? Maybe it also made me have so much more compassion, like in that sense of common humanity. Like, I could be over here feeling like like a loser and like, I'm stupid because I dropped out of grad school. But I could also have graduated from Harvard and still feel stuck. So like that's not the the issue is not you know, the education or what you did. Yeah. self concept or relationships in yourself. Um, so yeah, I remember being so yeah, like moved to tears by that and, but also encouraged in the sensitive help to facilitate better you know, relationship towards that kind of thinking. But yeah, it was a big shocker to me like, how are you? A full blown neuroscientist over here talking about how you're stupid? And literally, what am I like, if that's how you feel, then what am I you know what I mean? That was I mean, that was, in a sense encouraging too, because it's like, and then another, then this is as far as like, comparing yourself to somebody who looks like they have it all together. There was this woman a few years ago who won Miss USA. And I remember watching.
Bridget Moroney 1:01:14
I was gonna say, I feel like I've heard this story, but continue. Okay.
Lineliz Vassallo 1:01:19
I may have told you, but I remember watching her and being like, mind blown at how much she had accomplished. First of all, she was like, the oldest woman to ever win Miss USA. I think she was like, 28 when she won. Wow. Okay, I haven't heard she had a law degree. As she had an MBA, it's like she pursued her MBA and her law degree at the same time. And she managed to be fit, sexy and beautiful the whole time. And she did pro bono work, like in the community. And she had a fashion blog and a bit like an E News reporter.
Bridget Moroney 1:02:00
What was her talent for the talent show, did she played piano.
Lineliz Vassallo 1:02:02
And I remember her hair was phenomenal. Her hair was phenomenal. Like, I mean, just me just keeping curly hair looking that good, is a full time job, let alone every other thing that she did. And I remember feeling like so shitty, just like I'm watching a news story about her and, like, simultaneously being in awe. And also, like the inner critic, immediately turning it on me to make me feel like shit. So I remember like being in awe, how can like When did she sleep? When did she eat? Like, how would end up she had a beautiful relationship with her parents and active in her church. And like, six pack? Like, what?
Bridget Moroney 1:02:59
I hope this doesn't turn tragic care? No, but
Lineliz Vassallo 1:03:01
it's so tragic. As far as my inner critic go, but damn bitch, all you do is teach meditation. And you I mean, this was a few years ago, but still, but that was all you do is calm people down all day. And somehow, you still don't have your shit together in like all of these other areas. You know what I mean? Like you, you do so little, yet, you still can't get all your ducks in a row. And all of this kind of thing. Like, I mean, that was the inner critic, right? And I remember just, whenever I would see a picture of her on the news, or in a magazine or whatever, I would just be reminded of like, this super duper woman and like, how much more potential I have that I'm not accomplishing or how much more I could be, you know, using my time wisely. Like, if she could do all that, then then why why haven't I done more kind of thing. So like her face was always a reminder of that. And then this year, I think it was January, early January 25. Or something. There was like, this devastating news story in New York about a woman who had jumped off the top of her condo in New York City. When they investigated the remains, it was her.
Bridget Moroney 1:04:22
Oh, my God.
Lineliz Vassallo 1:04:25
Isn't that horrible? And I just remember that. Yeah, I remember being so devastated. Like, God. Oh my god. She had it all you were Miss USA. You were gorgeous. You were fit. You were smart. You were brilliant. You were resourceful. You were you like I mean, yeah, it really had
Bridget Moroney 1:04:46
it all worked. Yeah, yeah.
Lineliz Vassallo 1:04:51
Yeah. And and it was just such a reminder of so when they are they asked you they interviewed her family, her mother said She was, well, even prior to interviewing her family, she had written an article for like a magazine that talked about how upset she was that she was turning 30. Because, you know, she was no longer going to be so valuable in the eyes of society. Oh, wow. Yeah, she's gonna have less opportunity, like, just a clear example of being led to destruction by this inner critic. Yeah. So yeah, I mean, her mother said that, you know, in the days leading up to that, she was depressed, and she was very self critical. And I was just like, holy shit. Like, if someone with all of that is self critical, you know? Like, yeah, we, you know what I mean? Like, it's just a kind of like a very poignant reminder of how important it is to take care of your mental health of your emotional health, and to not compare yourself because you really have no freaking idea what is going on in other people's minds and in their lives? Like, you can't compare yourself to anyone? Because
Bridget Moroney 1:06:09
And practice that self compassion? Yeah. I mean, that's, that's just, I mean, that's horrible. And I mean, what, what could have a little bit of self compassion done for that woman? I guess, you know, I'm saying, like, I don't know, oh, my God. But I mean, I'm not saying that that's the cure all for, like depression and like, but by no means, but I guess, I'm just thinking, like, you know, if we're, if we're speculating that this is a result of like, such a harsh inner critic, you know, that kind of so much other societal pressure and things like that. It's like, it's such a reminder. And one thing that that came up for me as well, I'm talking about the Harvard, you know, PhDs and neuroscientists, that and also, this woman, and we didn't, it's not something that we've mentioned before, but it's the idea of destination happiness. You know, it's like, oh, you know, yeah, know, if I, if I can just do this, if I can just get my PhD, I'll be happy. If I just win this, I'll be it. You know, and it's, you know, again, I guess, like, I'm relating that back to the self compassion because and mindfulness in general, because, you know, your life is here right now. Like, you know, strive for those goals and things like that. But don't let that don't let your you know, every your mental health everything kind of hang on that that one accomplishment or that destination, like I said,
Lineliz Vassallo 1:07:43
yeah, yes, that's huge. And you just reminded me of something else is like, a lot of people have this thought of, I'm going to stress myself out. Now I'm going to sacrifice my health, I'm going to not sleep for two years, because because it's worth it's worth, you know, the, the hard work or whatever is to get to my destination to get to this happiness. Yeah. And it's like, what, like, I think, I feel like it's so important to like you were saying, to be mindful and healthy and present in your journey to as you're working towards these goals. But if you're going to sacrifice your health, your well being your sleep, everything because you think that when you get there, you're suddenly going to be happy and fulfilled then. It's, I mean, you're it's so it's so counter productive. Because yeah, you're gonna get, you know, you're gonna get the goal accomplished. But you know, what you're gonna also have, like, I don't know, sleep apnea, or diabetes, or, you know, you're gonna get there with some other shit you got to deal with. There was I heard this quote, too. It's like the, the the young focus on their wealth. But then once they have it, they have to use it for their health. Yep. Yeah. versus focusing on your health. So that when is so that you can have true wealth? You know, like, I mean, it's also called the hedonic treadmill. Yeah, like,
Bridget Moroney 1:09:30
I think I believe, I don't know for sure. But that makes Yeah, talking about Yeah, yeah, hedonism versus, you know, you know, you know, eudonic I'm gonna go back and review my vocabulary. I mean, well, and just, you know, since we were kind of, I'll kind of bring this up, you know, speaking of tragedies, you know, what happened a couple of days ago, in Texas, I think it also just pinpoints that life can can can change in an instant and it can all be done in an instant. And so again, like, you know, and that's a very different situation, you know, with, you know, different circumstances, but just in general, it's, you know, making yourself miserable in pursuit of, you know, this, you know, external type, you know, hedonistic pursuit here, that may not, that isn't guaranteed some or it may make you happy for a minute, or it's a very shallow type of emptiness. You're killing your, you know, your, your, your, you know, whatever, pushing yourself stressing yourself kind of, you know, making yourself ill, you may not even reach that goal, or it may, it may not even happen for you, because, you know, just the way kind of life and tragedies can happen. And so then what, what was that all for? What was, you know, right, what was the point of making yourself miserable? You know, I don't know,
Lineliz Vassallo 1:11:00
I'm just thinking about that the situation in Texas, I mean, this is this is different, but just another thought is just like, obviously, it's so tragic, but like, the children and the families and like, God, the children who have to live with the memory of this, it's almost, in some ways, worse, like, I mean, that you don't compare, but like, just imagine a child who saw and survived, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, my mind went to what the hell was going on with this dude, he's only 18? Like, how? What in the world? You know what I mean? Like, because when you when you so I was reading something the other day about how I mean, I mean, actually, the, the highest suicide rate in the US is, is it's middle aged white men, I believe. And then, and then another high amount is like, disaffected young men, like, like, all these kind of, yeah, yeah. All these kinds of guys who don't like, feel like they fit into society somehow? Um, yeah. So yeah, I think the number one, I mean, I think, anyway, the point was saying that, like, maybe like, 2000 Oh, yeah, middle school to high school disaffected youth, like the suicide rate in that age group is enormous. A few times, I think it's one of maybe like, the highest the one of the highest causes of death between like, I don't know, like 14 to 25, or whatever. But then a tiny percentage of those instead of who are. So let's say like, 4000 commit suicide a year of those of those 4000. It's like 7%, who decides to also inflict, to also bring harm to others in the process? So anyway, I say all that just because I think too, I think to myself, like so much, so much of depression is, I mean, there's a lot of things, but so much of it is how you're talking to yourself. It's the internalized the inner critic, and so like, What in the world was his inner critic like, for him to go to those lengths? You know, what I mean? Like, what kind of suffering? Was he enduring within himself every day for him to feel like that was the way out, you know? that's kind of where my mind goes, when I see situations like that.
Bridget Moroney 1:13:54
Well, I'm gonna, I was gonna say, especially, you know, in that age and age range, you, you're very much I guess, intertwined with that, that inner critic, that inner that inner voice, like, that's, you know, I think as people get older and mature and you know, maybe find a way to kind of grow into a little bit more state, you know, a little bit more of a state of maturity and groundedness like, they start to see that voice is not theirs, but I think when you're so young, and at that age, that is your identity, and you don't see it, it you know, so I guess my point is, it's like I can I can understand why it leads to such terrible endings. Because if that's the only thing that you like, you see it as no escape. Basically what I'm gonna say, you know, yeah, it's like, this is this is my reality.
Lineliz Vassallo 1:14:54
So, yeah, yeah. Um, So yeah, I mean, I don't want to, I don't want to end there on that heavy ass note. It's helpful to like recognize, I think it's important to realize how important it is to, to regulate what's going on in your mind as to to be aware so that you can manage it. And why why? I mean, I guess it's why I'm so passionate about emotional intelligence, and mindfulness and mental health and all these things, because this is what I this is a perfect example of like, I know. But it's like, oh, you know what? I could keep going. But like, it's, it's, that's why it's so important to me. That's why I'm so passionate about this. Because Absolutely, because that's the alternative. You know, like, that's, that's what can happen if nothing is done, like, and I say that from the heart because I, I am not, I have. I am not someone who has not experienced self destructive thinking, I am not someone who never felt completely isolated. I'm not someone who's felt like, you know, no one in the world gets me I'm not someone who's ever felt that. You know, like, I. So in some way, I feel like, I know what it's like to be in those depths of despair. And that's why I think it's so important to have these tools. So that it's like you're preventing that kind of thing within yourself and also within your communities and your family. Because you're, you're nurturing the good, you're nurturing the good thoughts and the healthy emotions. And when you nurture that for yourself, you're able to more effectively spread it with your clients, with your patients with your community, your family.
Bridget Moroney 1:17:06
I mean, we've gone, we've talked a lot today, so maybe this will be for another day. But that is kind of the whole purpose, or the whole basis of what the HeartMath Institute preaches there is that you know, using Thank you. Yeah, it's been a good conversation. But, um, but yeah, that is kind of one of the principles of, of their, their methodologies. There. So we'll, we'll talk more, we can talk more about HeartMath another time, but yeah, it's, I mean, it's, you have that that self compassion, it allows you to be more compassionate for towards other people. You know, in your personal life, and then as a as a as a whole society on a on a society level societal level. Yeah, yeah. So all right. Well, I think that was a that was a more that was, I think that was a good ending less Debbie Downer more, you know, since not that you were insincere before, but that was a very heartfelt call to action. Um, all right. Well, I will. I'll catch you. I'll catch you on the flip side.
Lineliz Vassallo 1:18:23
Bye, everybody.
Bridget Moroney 1:18:28
All right. That's all for today's show. Thank you so much, again, for listening. And be sure to head over to aspiretocoaching.com/podcast to check out the show notes for today's episode. There, you'll find some of the links we've mentioned on today's podcast, as well as some of the previous episodes we've done. And while you're there, please make sure you sign up for our show updates. I am always updating the show and bringing in bonus content. So you do not want to miss out on any of that. One last thing. If you loved this episode, and you think a friend would really enjoy it as well. Grab the link and share it out for me please. It truly does help spread the word of this podcast and the topics that we discussed on our episodes. And at the end of the day. My goal is to empower as many people on their performance journey as possible. Thank you all so much again, and we'll see you next time.