Lineliz Vassallo 00:00
So telling someone to be grateful for something doesn't do anything. So you hear that a lot with parents and teachers be grateful, be grateful. Even telling yourself I should be grateful I live in this country, I should be grateful I have a roof over my head, like it all feels like you said, very kind of, like your side, eyeing yourself almost like, Please first world problems you know, like so I think, you know, kind of shoulding yourself into being grateful. You know, whether it's other people telling you you should be grateful. Are you telling yourself you should be grateful? That's not how you become grateful. Gratitude happens as a result of a variety of things. It happens, like you said as a result of generosity.
Bridget Moroney 00:45
Welcome to the performance arcs podcast where the conversations are about health, nutrition and mindset for anyone who considers themselves an athlete from the most elite competitors to those who are simply seeking to improve their athletic performance. We hope the knowledge shared on this show will empower you to reach your physical potential. Thank you so much for tuning in. Now for today's episode. Hey, everyone. Welcome to today's episode. I'm your host, Bridget Moroney. And today I welcome back friend of the show Lineliz Vassallo for a little discussion on gratitude. So given the fact that we are well into the holiday season across many countries around the world right now, this is a topic that gets thrown about quite a bit. So being the mindfulness and meditation expert she is I invited Lineliz on here to come and discuss the physical, psychological and emotional benefits of cultivating a true genuine sense of gratitude. And then she gives us some easy ways in which we can do that in our everyday lives to improve our health, our performance, and our overall life. I hope you enjoy this episode. And if you want to hear more of Lineliz on the Performance RX podcast, go ahead and check out Episode Three on the inner critic. I hope you enjoy all right, Hola, how's it going? That was that was. I am so not a Spanish speaker. How's it going? Lineliz You are beautiful. Oh my god. Especially with especially that Pineapple bun.
Lineliz Vassallo 02:29
Oh my god. I feel like a Pina Colada hat's what I feel like today.
Bridget Moroney 02:37
We were just talking. We were just talking before I hit record about maybe having a question limit here and in the in the interest of, of condensing our time, but I feel like we might need to have like a like a kind of side comment or joke limit as well. All right, as I as I just make a side comments, but yeah, thanks for being on the show. This lovely afternoon. And for those who are longtime listeners of the performance RX podcast, you probably remember Lineliz and her episode on the inner critic so as a as a friend of the show, welcome back. You're welcome really quick. So like I said, people hopefully know you by now, if you don't go back and listen to episode three with Lineliz. But do you want to have like a little short introduction or just tell people what you've been up to? Or any, any quick background to add to what people may already know about you?
Lineliz Vassallo 03:52
Sure. I'm going to talk about a realization I just had 15 minutes ago. I love it. And that is Hi everyone. My name is Lineliz, and I am a mindfulness and meditation teacher and going forward into the end of 2020 to 2023. My vision is to really focus my efforts on bringing mindful awareness practices into the entrepreneurial space. Knowing myself and knowing my friends and everything, all that we struggle with, while trying to balance our health, our business, our loves our lives, I realized that mindfulness could really be a benefit to this community that I am so happily a part of. So if you are a business owner and you're also like really wanting to be healthy and balanced in your business in life holler at your girl
Bridget Moroney 05:03
Holla Yeah, just I guess really quick to echo that as a health coach as an entrepreneur as someone who has practiced mindfulness who does practice mindfulness on the regular but has practice with Lineliz definitely huge and very valuable resource there and yeah, I wholeheartedly agree about like its benefits for for anyone and just their overall health. So I guess with that said, and kind of getting into the topic for today, so when I was coming up with the idea, very impromptu idea for this podcast episode for for many cultures, for many countries, there's there is this theme of of gratitude, I think for Americans maybe kind of officially starts in thanksgiving, the name is right there. But when you get into the winter holidays, Christmas, of course, Hannakuh Kwanzaa Solstice, there's there's this, there's this overarching theme, like I said, of, well, there's a lot of overarching themes, but I think gratitude plays a big part in it. And so yeah, in thinking about this podcast episode, I, of course, reached out to Lineliz because one of the things that I feel you can cultivate through a mindfulness practice is this sense of gratitude, or, in my opinion, I think gratitude and mindfulness they kind of go hand in hand in the the benefits that they they give to people for certainly your mental and emotional health, but I think even physical health, so
Lineliz Vassallo 06:42
yeah, wow. Well, I think loving kindness meditation has multiple benefits that really lend itself specifically to this time of year. So if you're going to start meditating, today, I would say loving kindness is the right approach. Because it does really cultivate, I'll get into some of the brain changes and actual physical benefits in a moment. But I do want to say like, right off the bat, like right off the top of my mind, the top of my chest, that immediate benefits that I notice, are just a feeling of wholeness within oneself, because you're, you're cultivating love and appreciation and gratitude for yourself for your life. And you're also extending that outwards, to your family, your friends, to your community. And so the practice really, I think, establishes a sense of connection to the greater good, and connection to your joy. And I think a lot of times in kind of like the swirl of the holiday season and the endless list of to do's, you know, the cliche is, we forget what Christmas is all about. We forget, we forget the meaning of the holidays. And I think loving kindness is a way of really keeping that spirit alive, not only for the holiday season, but all year long and throughout your life, the spirit of of living in gratitude, living in appreciation, living in connection with others, I think
Bridget Moroney 08:22
it's interesting. And maybe I don't know, if you have an opinion one way or another about this, or if there is like actual studies that have been done, or research or whatever data that can prove it one way or the other, but just talking about like, yeah, people because there's, there's just a lot that like, you know, as I mentioned, a few moments ago, there, there's there's supposed to be an overarching theme of gratitude and things like that. But as you pointed out, a lot of people do forget, that is the whole point, they forget the the reason for the season, if you will, just just because and we don't have to, like go through like the whole laundry list of why the people may forget to to be to show gratitude or have appreciation this time of year. But um, I think on the surface level, people are like, yeah, like we should, we should, you know, be thankful and things like that. And I guess the question that I want to ask is, when you're when we're talking about gratitude, and loving kindness meditations is like a deep, heartfelt like genuine, right? Genuine gratitude, not just like, hey, we're sitting at the Thanksgiving table, and my mom is making everybody go around and say we were thankful of and you're just like, they go for this, this food or my family and you just say it really quick that you can like move on and eat but like actually sitting then I guess that's kind of the whole point of mindfulness is to sit there in a present moment and actually feel these feelings. I guess, just to ask point blank, like, does it have to be a genuine sense of gratitude or heart felt ness. I don't know if that's a word, or if it's something where it's like, can you fake it till you make it? Like if someone's like, yeah, okay, I'll sit here and be thankful for my house while I meditate.
Lineliz Vassallo 10:10
Oh, that's a great question. I think that is a great question. Did I just say that? I think it's a great because it is a great.
Bridget Moroney 10:21
I mean, you can you can. It's so great you had to reiterate it.
Lineliz Vassallo 10:25
Right? Well, because I think. And I think it's very worthy to note that in the beginning stages of beginning a loving kindness, meditation practice, it can feel phony and it can feel fake, the kind of fake that you feel when you're aunt is forcing you to come up with something you're thankful for on Thanksgiving. It feels maybe pushed or forced. And so the idea, especially as you're beginning this practice, is just to notice, just to notice that sense of this feels phony, this feels corny, this feels fake. Because that's just, you know, a level of discomfort. That's just something we're not used to when we're not used to something, it feels uncomfortable. Like, if you haven't worked out in 10 years, and you walk up a flight of 20 stairs, it's not gonna feel comfortable, it's gonna feel not cool. So it can be kind of rocky like that, when you're first beginning a loving kindness practice, because it might feel that way. Like, I don't really believe what I'm saying, I don't really feel grateful for this or that, like, it's not an authentic feeling for me right now. But that's okay. Just notice that this feels phony and just allow yourself to continue to invite the phrases to continue to repeat the phrases because A we learn by repetition B the practice of loving kindness itself is kind of like a mantra meditation where you are repeating something multiple times to, to integrate it, to believe it to trust it to hold it to be true. So in a loving kindness meditation, it what typically happens is you're you're wishing kindness or well wishes to let's say, you start with something that's really easy for you to love. Really easy for you to appreciate, like your dog, oh my God, how could I not love my dog? How could I not appreciate my dog. So you start by saying, you know, may my dog be happy, may my dog be healthy, be my dog, you safe me my dog be loved. And that feels real, that feels okay, that feels authentic, because you you really do feel that so there's no real hurdle there. So it's always helpful and useful to try to or to begin your meditation of loving kindness with something that is just impossible for you to not love, adore and appreciate. So that's number one, that's usually a pet or a child might not even be your child. Just like a friend, or you know, like or your grandmother, you know, like that, that, that typically tends to be the kind of like the three categories of people who are, you know, impossible to care for, then the second level is to someone. And it doesn't always have to be this order. But definitely you want to start with someone who it's impossible to not feel thankful for. And then you want to go to maybe somebody you genuinely when you think about it, wow, this person really impacted my life. So you might want to think of like a teacher from high school who said something to you that like changed the course of your life or you know, that mentor you had or that friend you had anyone or someone who continues to be in your life who's just kind of like a real light someone you actually really appreciate and then you know, send the wishes towards them because again, that's real for you now and then gradually you add on and so starting with the holiday season, you could keep it right there with those two, right? And and then you know, maybe you feel comfortable with those two so now you want to extend it out to your family, you know, like and this is where it could be very useful going into like Thanksgiving where people are afraid Oh, I don't want to you know, have so start cultivating just a genuine wish of kindness and wellness towards you know, everyone you're going to see a Thanksgiving just, may they be happy, may they be safe. And honestly, I think that's probably a great place to start with those three just like who you know, who I can't possibly not appreciate who I already genuinely truly appreciate and who I want to have a positive regard for when I see them. And then of course, at the end you bring it all to yourself, may I be safe May I be kind may or may I be loved, may I be happy, I'll stop there. But there's more to say. But I think those, you know, those four are, I think, where you're really going to feel some changes in yourself and in the way that you relate to others. And in the regard and the generosity you have for others in this in these meetings and gatherings that we're going to be having for the next few weeks.
Bridget Moroney 15:22
Yeah, a couple of things. One, like totally agree. Pick, pick someone or something. Some being that is, like you said, you like, you just can't help but feel grateful and appreciative and, and loving towards them. And yeah, and you know, I, one of the Are you familiar with the Heart Math Institute? Yeah. Nice. Yeah. side notes. I know, not that supposed to say side note, but so I know, that's totally like, on my, my bucket list of of trainings and certifications there, I just, I think what they do is very fascinating, and it's science backed, which we should get into in a moment, but they kind of, but that's, that's kind of like their whole deal. There is this this heart centered, you know, meditation and, and one of the, it, you know, they, they, they have their own spin on it, and call it different, I guess things other than loving kindness, but that's, that's kind of like, their whole deal is to pick something that is genuine, whether it is a child, a pet, or something that you feel genuine feelings towards. And then again, like for yourself, like, you know, a moment that you are genuinely proud or happy or whatever, whatever it is that the focus of the meditation is. So yeah, totally agree with that. And I like that you brought up the whole, like, this is a great time to do it. Because I think for a lot of people, you know, as much as we want to sit here and say that the holidays are wonderful, and beautiful and peace on earth and goodwill to everyone. It is very difficult for a lot of people for many reasons. And it can be very triggering to a lot of people for many, many reasons. And so yeah, I think doing this type of meditation, and there's there's probably variations that a person could do. But I think just doing it as a form of self care, like you said, like, the last part of the loving kindness, or one of the last parts is to bring it back to yourself to have that. And I think that's that's something that's very, very important. And that, regardless of the time of year, a lot of people can benefit from so great, great point about that. I guess you said there were a few other things to say about the loving kindness like do you want to get into that? Or do we want to kind of talk about okay, go ahead.
Lineliz Vassallo 17:39
Sure. And I'll and I'll also add on to your comments about HeartMath. Because I didn't do their What is it a one of their first levels of facilitation trainings? Oh, nice. Nice. It was, yeah, it was part of my role at Georgia State to teach students how to use Heart Math technology. And they would get excited when they saw the benefits. Because with Heart Math, what you're, it's really like consciously bringing to mind something you appreciate and keeping that image in your mind. And then imagining your breath coming in and out of your heart as you're holding that image of gratitude in your mind. And so let's say your mind veers, which will happen in a loving kindness meditation too your mind veers to something else, something negative Oh, but what about that time that this person said this thing to me, the cool thing about the Heart Math is that you can see physiological changes that happen in your body as a result of that negative thought, you see the changes in your heart rate variability, because you had that negative thought, but then once you see it on the screen, you can come back to you know, imagine your breath coming in and out of your heart and holding that image of, you know, what you're grateful for genuinely in your mind. And the more you do that, you see that you get better and better at it. And you see that your physiological health becomes better and, and your emotional health. So yes, HeartMath is great. And it is very much related to loving kindness in the sense that you're actively bringing to mind what you're grateful for, and you're being conscious of when your mind drifts away from that. So that's a fun way, especially if you're technologically oriented, to not gamify but in a little bit of a sense, have more maybe fun with it. I know a lot of people, you know, meditation is databased too or science back too but I feel like you know, some people just really like seeing that stuff on the screen or on the monitor that you know, kind of confirms that shifts are happening as far as loving kindness. It really is it can it can help in so many ways and to kind of go off of the when it feels fake. So After you, you know like so for the things you love it feel it may feel good to do this meditation. But this meditation can also like you said be this is a triggering time a year. But this meditation can also be triggering meaning you might have estranged family members or you know, loved ones who've passed on there, there might be a lot that comes up in this meditation. And so this meditation can It can, it can be emotional. I feel like whenever I've led a retreat, this meditation can bring up tears for a lot of people. But you know, nobody's upset about the tears. Let me just be clear, no one is upset about the tears. It's almost always a welcomed release.
Bridget Moroney 20:43
Like cathartic there Yeah,
Lineliz Vassallo 20:45
yeah. And a lot of times, you know, we don't really pause, you know, like you said, On Thanksgiving, we pause, we stand around the circle, hold hands and say something we're grateful for, but like loving kindness is asking you to genuinely deal the truth of what you're grateful for. And when you do that, it can bring up a lot of tears, because you're like, oh, shit, like, I'll give an example. I have a million examples, but I'll give one when I was in college, one of my dad's co workers gave him a car to give to me. And yeah, yeah, I didn't even remember that until I was in a loving kindness meditation. And I'm like, Oh, my God, like, the only reason I ever had a car in in life was because of the complete and utter generosity of a random stranger who didn't even know me. And like, she just was like, Oh, Your daughter needs a car. I don't need this car anymore. Why don't you get you know, like, but as a teenager, you're not thinking that you're thinking, oh, about time I got a car, you know, like, there wasn't this well of gratitude. And when, like, when I realized what an ungrateful little, I don't want to say I was at that age. It just, like, really made me well up in tears, like, Damn, how, you know, like, I can't even say thank you to this woman. I don't know where she is right now. I don't know how I find her Wow, what an act of generosity like and so it was a relief. And it was also like a real sense of gratitude and connection to the world. Like, you know, I can have that kind of impact on someone like that car really changed my life, you know, there was, there's so much I could say about it. But like it you can become thankful for something in meditation that you haven't been aware was so pivotal for you, you know, you could become aware of it 10 20 30 years later, and and be thankful. And it's beautiful. And it makes you feel much more connected to the world around you to your life to the impact of everyone and everything you've ever come across. And also it brings to light, how much how you behave, how you act towards others, and what your impact can be for others, when you realize how all these things matter. So that's one thing. Another is later on within your practice, you can begin to incorporate people that are neutral to you. So like a barista at Starbucks, you don't really have maybe positive or negative feelings for this person. But the act of practicing loving kindness gives that person life in your eyes makes that person more real and like you start to care more about the people you meet in your daily life. So this is a whole person who has hopes and dreams and aspirations. And you know, it gives you this sense of greater connection. And then there's this piece about the person, the hardest part of this meditation, but also maybe even one of the more healing parts is extending this positive regard and this goodwill towards people that annoy you. So that's, that's one, one practice, that's also good to do. So that when you see that person in real life, you're not as agitated by them, because you remember that they're human beings too. And then the furthest step, when you've kind of built up a lot of practice is the invitation to send that positive regard that goodwill toward someone who's maybe hurt you or someone who you're estranged from someone who you can't stand so, and in that way, it almost helps you to really forgive and release the past too.
Bridget Moroney 24:34
Yeah, I love that. I love all of that, obviously. But I'm just like, you and I have talked about this. In the other episode that you're on by just kind of the common humanity of it all right, the previous episode we were talking about that I guess for Mindful self compassion, but Mindful self compassion is different than meditation or different from this type of meditation that we're talking about, but I don't know. I just I guess I guess my point cuz I just really like that, that that theme again, or that lesson of the common humanity, like you said, like the Starbucks barista, they're like, you know, you may see this person once a while, you may only see them once in your life, but just kind of recognizing that this person is like an actual human being, who has hopes and dreams and challenges and everything else like that, like is so helpful. I think, again, especially like, I think, in our world, especially the commentary of social media is that it Depersonalizes us, right? Because you don't see a person there like you literally physically don't see a person. Yeah, it's a
Lineliz Vassallo 25:36
it's my favorite one to like, wow, like, yeah, it that I feel like that part makes real life feel like a Hallmark movie. I do hope that this person that I'll never see again, has a great day, I hope their life goes well. I hope their wishes come true. I hope they encounter love. And like, it makes you feel truly connected to everyone that you encounter, which is lost in so many ways in the majority of our interactions. I think
Bridget Moroney 26:09
it will and the other thing that I just remembered I wanted to comment on but you were talking about how like this appreciation, the you know, these heartfelt feelings extend out and it's kind of like a ripple effect, I guess is what is my point there? So you show this this love, appreciation, whatever, respect, kindness, gratitude towards people, and then it's yeah, like you said, like, it's just, it carries on after that, because then that person feels seen and validated and they go on to the next person. It's yeah, it's, it's awesome. So we talked about like, a kind of a very basic type of, I guess, I guess I would, the first part would, it would have been kind of like maybe the beginner's step to loving kindness, like, start with your favorite pet or child or your favorite grandparents, then go on to someone who was impactful to you, and then go on to yourself. That's kind of like the first step. And then as you get more and more advanced, you can add in these neutral, all the way up to difficult and hurtful people as a way of healing. What about the science behind it? Oh, we kind of talked about that. In the beginning. As you mentioned, Heart Math is an example of, again, it's not loving kindness, but it's an example of using actual data as evidence that doing these types of meditations or activities can improve your health, like you mentioned, HRV and everything else like that. But what's, what's some of the science behind it?
Lineliz Vassallo 27:40
The juice, okay. Okay, I just went to another screen, because I pulled up some studies I wanted to mention here. Okay, so this one I love. Okay, so this study on the effect of loving kindness meditation on the body's inflammatory and neuro endocrine system. So they divided people into a high practice group and a low practice group, those who did loving kindness every day compared to those who kind of did it minimally. And the results were very striking the high practice group saw a significant decrease in inflammation compared to the low practice and no practice groups. And the research kind of highlights two findings, which are not only can loving kindness, subjectively reduce distress, but it can also impact the body's physiology, reducing the inflammation. And secondly, it equally kind of impressive is that this only happened for people who were actively engaged in the practice. So like, if you just went to a meditation class, once a week, it was not enough to produce a change. So it's like that thing that I'm always saying about consistency versus duration. So it's like, yeah, you could do a loving kindness meditation for two hours every Tuesday. But it's actually probably a lot better for you to do like 10 minutes every day consistency over time, because then you're training this muscle, you're repeating repetition. So yeah, I think that's a cool benefit. Another really cool benefit is that an investigation that was done into loving kindness by a positive psychology researcher named Barbara Fredrickson, and she looked at how loving kindness impacts emotions, and examine how this practice could actually build up your personal resources like your cognitive, emotional, physical health. So what they did was they invited a group of people to practice loving kindness over the course of nine weeks, and they had to practice a little, at least a little bit every day. And then the researchers measured their outcomes on a variety of subjects, including their experiencing positive emotions, their immunity to illness and their relationship to others. And it really helped to build everyone's personal resources. So loving kindness led to shifts in people's daily experiences of a wide range of positive emotions, including Love, joy, gratitude, contentment, hope, pride, interest, amusement, and all. So those are all my favorite emotions by the way. And these shifts over time, and they were not huge. But over the course of nine weeks, they led to an increase also in mindful attention, self acceptance, positive relationships with others, and good physical health, people were overall more satisfied with their lives and experience fewer, fewer symptoms of depression. So that's on like the emotional and the physical health benefits. There's also a lot of research that shows how loving kindness increases activity in the insula and the temporal parietal juncture of the brain. And those are really important for our ability to empathize with others, and to make ourselves aware of emotional and physical present moment experiences, and to open up our capacity to see the emotions that others are experiencing. So we become more much more attuned to the people in our lives to the people in our work, the more we're increasing the activity of these regions of the brains, where we become more empathic and more compassionate and more able to, like you said, See, feel realized and tune into the common humanity. And that translates into better leadership skills. Also better relationships, it definitely impacts how you let's say, your'e a coach, how you're going to relate to your clients, if you're really hearing and you really tuning and empathizing, there's nothing that sucks more than seeing a doctor or specialist who doesn't have empathy. And so being able to bring a strong empathic response with you in your professional careers, hugely helpful. So it's not only for your mental, your physical, emotional, well being but also for your impact in the world and your quality of life. So, I mean, I could go on and on, but I feel like if you're not doing loving kindness, meditation, what are you doing? What are you doing?
Bridget Moroney 32:13
That's already That's it? That's in conclusion, what are you doing? Um, no, I mean, no, it's a great point. But it's not just like, it's not just like some woowoo. So that's why I wanted to bring up the the science I was gonna say, a second or a few minutes ago, but it's like, it all sounds kind of like, you know, a little bit woowoo like, Oh, it's so utopian. We're just gonna sit here and feel good, but there's actual physiological benefits, there's psychological benefits, obviously emotional, but even like, our social social health, like I talked about this a lot like our you know, our health, people like to think that health is what you eat and your exercise. And you know, now people are on board with mental health, but even like, our relationships, right, like, our impact on the world, and yeah, listen, like, as someone in the health and fitness industry, it is really crummy. To have someone a coach we'll say, or a doctor or anyone but just someone looking at you, you know, your people come to us, you know, us, I mean, like coaches, but also doctors, you know, people, people come to these these professions, seeking help. And the last thing they want is a lecture or some side eye on how they're right. Like, for real? Yeah, I was having this I was having this conversation with a gym owner. The other day, and you know, when it comes to nutrition, a person a coach might have a client come to them and they're overweight, and they're like, I really need to lose weight. Well, the logic behind it is like, follow this diet, eat less move more like it's like, where's the humanity in that it's like, oh, wait, you're a single mom with you know, you have all this stress you're you're struggling to make ends meet like there's that like, like I said, like, people don't need the lecture like more than anything they need. Like yes, they need the science in the in the information, everything behind it, because otherwise then people are just falling for scams. So they need people who are knowledgeable and professional but I think even more than that, they need someone who is who's empathetic to them and be like, Oh, hey, yeah, I get you I see you because it's it's lacking in a lot of industries and professions there so
Lineliz Vassallo 34:44
1,000% I get you know, Oprah says this thing about how you, you know, excellence when you see it, you don't have to be, you know, top in your field to You to do excellence like or to be excellent. She's like, you notice excellence, when you go to McDonald's and they give you, you know, three extra packets of sweet and sour sauce and napkins and like the about me like they give it to you, you know, like that awareness of like, this is another person who might also want some extra sauce. And I being the loving, generous, kind, empathic, being that I am. I'm gonna make sure that that happens. And so yeah, I like the way she says, like, you know, like, you can see it and you can feel it. So yeah, I feel like I've had more empathy. From a barista at Starbucks, from the mailman, from Amazon delivery from you know, from a million jobs where it's not even necessarily a requirement. Whereas I've been in circumstances with psychiatrist and doctors and people who you think take a Hippocratic oath to heal?
Bridget Moroney 36:03
Yeah, do no harm. Which means which you know, like physical but also psychological and emotional harm, right? Right. Yeah, no, good point. First of all, always love and appreciate a good Oprah reference. So a couple of things. One you don't think like empathy matters and leadership like look at Twitter right now. Wow. Yeah. Like what the what the fuck Elon? What so there's that which I'm not going to get into that whole rant but again, just really um, but talking about like the customer service like yeah, I've worked in customer service and you hear it a lot like go the extra mile go the extra mile and I think you bring up a great point like actually genuinely feeling you know, having you know that empathy and you know, common humanity does help people actually truly go the extra mile there. But no, getting back into the the science or your you were talking about the different pathways of the pathways of our brain that that do light up when there's empathy. Something else I was reading, just talking about gratitude in general is also it it highlights your your reward pathways. I don't know if that's specifically for loving kindness. I think it's just kind of gratitude in general and just having gratitude. But yeah, if you think about it, again, it's kind of like we talked about, we talked about this in the beginning of the episode, maybe some of these maybe tropes around the holidays there. But that's, that's one of the tropes that gets thrown around, especially in Christmas, or at Christmas, like the gift giving ones is like, oh, it's, it's better to give than to receive, but it actually is, like, if you think about it from a neural pathway perspective, they're like, you receive a gift and you're like, you get that dopamine hit or whatever that rush and you're like, Yay, and then it's then it's over. Versus like doing something for someone or having gratitude or appreciation. It's a little bit longer lasting.
Lineliz Vassallo 38:08
Oh, I was just gonna say what you're telling me reminds me of something I used to teach a lot when I work with mindful kids, Miami, and that is this kind of common thing that and I'm like, witnessing now like living with a family and everything that like, parents are constantly telling their and this is okay, disclaimer parents have every right to be upset that their kids aren't grateful. Number one. But number two, I think if you really want to cultivate, cultivate gratitude, gratitude needs to be cultivated, it doesn't just happen. I think that's what is important here. So these neuro chemicals don't just happen, they need to be kind of like, you know, incited or, you know, they, we need to plant seeds, you know, cultivate the environment for this rewiring for these synapses to connect. So like, I remember, like, even my own mom, when I was a kid, I was like, Oh, you're so ungrateful. You're not grateful. You're not grateful. So okay, but like, how do you cultivate that? How, what are the things you can do to you know, constantly have this as a thing that we're turning towards. So telling someone to be grateful for something doesn't do anything. So you hear that a lot with parents and teachers be grateful, be grateful. Even telling yourself I should be grateful I live in this country, I should be grateful I have a roof over my head like it all feels like you said very kind of like your side eyeing yourself almost like, Please first world problems you know, like so I think, you know, kind of shoulding yourself into being grateful. You know, whether it's other people telling you you should be grateful. Or you telling yourself you should be grateful? Isn't that's not how you become grateful. Grateful. attitude happens as a result of a variety of things that happens, like you said, as a result of generosity, like, you will instantly feel a swell of positive emotions. And when you are generous towards others, when you're giving the gift, you feel that like, wow, look, you know, I made this person happy. When you do loving kindness meditation, the gratitudes, they kind of like bubble up on their own. So the reason I say this is because I've been to classes, I'm not, I'm not trying to throw yoga classes under the bus, because I love you're gonna teach yoga. But I was, I would say like when yoga is taught in specific ways, that is not very mindful, you can go to you were at the end of the yoga class, there'll be a meditation, that sounds something like this. Okay, and so now close your eyes, and just like, be grateful for your body. Be grateful for this movement, and just engaged in
Bridget Moroney 41:05
thank yourself for showing up to the mat today.
Lineliz Vassallo 41:14
And this, also, I think, is not the best way to go. So like, good
Bridget Moroney 41:26
sidenote, disclaimer to any of my yoga teacher, friends who listen to this podcast, you do not do this, and you are some of the best yoga teachers that I've been to. But there's some others out there. That's all just disclaimer, you know who you are. And you're in. You're wonderful. And I have gratitude for the way you teach.
Lineliz Vassallo 41:47
That's right. Yes. And I think it's because of some of these meditations that people hear, you know, quote, unquote, meditation is that they're like, eww meditation stupid it's fake. Yeah. So okay, when you're doing a real, when you're doing a real loving kindness, meditation, the gratitude will arise spontaneously. So you're like that forcing yourself to be grateful for the sun shining today, that happens that automatically like the way it happens automatically in life, where if it's been grey for 10 days, and you go outside, and the sun's out, you're like, Oh, yay, like that's natural, it's spontaneous. That's the same way it happens in a loving kindness meditation, where things just bubble up on their own, you don't have to force it, you don't have to, you know, make a list of 20 things I'm grateful for in this meditation, like, as you're meditating, as you're wishing well, to others, and to yourself and to the world. In between those good wishes, gratitude will arise, like I've mentioned earlier for things you had no idea you were grateful for. Gratitude will arise like me, you know, and so that's one thing, there's a, there's a lot of different ways for gratitude to arise. But I think the important things is to cultivate the conditions, to keep it top of mind and to cultivate the conditions to nurture it. And so yeah, that's,
Bridget Moroney 43:11
it's just like, so many things. Like, you have to engage with the activity for it to, like, have an impact, or make an impact in your life. I think that's a great point bring up like, parents, teachers and and things like that, because it is easy as an adult to be like, You should be grateful, but but I think the real impact and power comes when you have your children, your students, whoever, like actually do something that produces these, these, these emotions there another little side note. I'm just breaking all my rules. But this is, but this is a good story. So So in, you know, in my past life as an educator, one of the schools I worked at was a golf and tennis academy, it was a private golf and tennis academy. And so these are students, these are kids who come from an enormous amount of privilege. I'm talking like, private jet privilege, okay. Whoa, right. Yeah. So, um, which is, you know, good for them and good for their parents who obviously had work to have that lifestyle, but as you as you might expect, they're they they they come from this, you know, having come from a life of privilege and things like that they don't really have a sense of how the rest of the real world works. So one of the things that the school did when I was there, and I don't know if hopefully they still continue this tradition, but beyond just being like, Oh, we're gonna do a toy drive and you bring in the toys or whatever, you know, oh, we're gonna we're gonna do this. Like they actually had a, an activity where like a select group of students would go and deliver these toys to children. And at, like very low socio economic schools and the impact, like the perspective shifted had on the students who just came from rich, like, it was like some of them were, like, come out and like cry afterwards like, again, it just kind of like I guess just sharing that anecdote is is kind of emphasize the point of like, plant the seeds. Plant the seeds. Right. And
Lineliz Vassallo 45:27
I think it's a posit, I think what you're saying is really helpful, because I think a lot of people make the mistake of feeling guilty for what they have, like they go from maybe not being grateful to, oh, I'm a shitty person, because I haven't been grateful I look at everything I have. And so like, like this jump from not being aware of what I hadn't be grateful to, like, I shouldn't have anything to complain about, or I shouldn't, I should have been grateful all or like, I feel like it happens a lot when people travel to like a third world country and then come back to the US. And they're, you know, it's good because it does open your eyes to how much you have to be grateful for. But then I think there's this kind of underbelly that a lot of people experience of like, where they shit on themselves for not being grateful. And so that's not useful, is what I'm here to say. Like, you can be grateful. And instead of feeling guilty about what you've been blessed with, you can use your awareness of what you are grateful for, to share with others to, you know, be of service to send goodwill to others, you don't, your your awareness of all of your blessings doesn't need to be a source of shame. And again, I think Oprah is a good example of that. How much does she give, you know, like, she has so much but also how much does she give, you know, like, she's, she's not over there shaming herself for having a lot. She's aware that she's grateful. And she's, you know, like, generous with it. So a good friend of mine who's like an awesome mindfulness and compassion instructor from Colombia. She says, you know, it's not it's what are you going to do with your privilege? Because we all have privileges, you know, different arenas of life, but what what are you getting now that you have that awareness? What are you going to do with it? How will you use it? And, you know, that's, I think, a great place to focus when when you when if ever you feel shame, or guilt about, you know, the blessings that you realize that you have, how can you use everything you've been given to be of service and to, you know, share that bounty and gratitude with others. And that's what Thanksgiving is all about. All that food we're thankful for that we share it
Bridget Moroney 48:07
I love it. I love it. No, I feel like that's a perfect place to end our conversation there very very good call to action. I love it. Oh, man. This has been it's been so fun. It's always it's always so much fun to chat with you in any capacity I guess I guess really quick before we before we kind of sign off here anything to kind of plug or shout out like if people want to connect with you on social media website I know you've been doing a little bit of writing these days have some articles out and about so that's right.
Lineliz Vassallo 48:47
Watch out for the release of my bad bunny article. That's been three months in the making.
Bridget Moroney 48:54
Are you almost done with it?
Lineliz Vassallo 48:55
I haven't even revisited it I have pumped I have like five other articles but I'll get back to that maybe that'll be a goal for the end of the year.
Bridget Moroney 49:04
When when you're done with it I seriously want to like have you on here and like we can make a podcast episode about it like you know discuss it there but But you haven't but I've seen like some of your other articles there so yeah, like where can people find you Where can they they read your read your writings can
Lineliz Vassallo 49:21
read my writings on medium and you can find me on Instagram at radiant R a d i n t calm ca LM radiant calm on Instagram. And then from there you can you know find my medium and find all the channels where you can access me.
Bridget Moroney 49:44
Yeah, like a link in bio and everything in there.
Lineliz Vassallo 49:47
Right? Look out for this retreat. i Oh, yeah, this retreat. I haven't determined the date. I'm not sure if I want to do the second week of December or that little window of time between Christmas and New Year's Eve or no was doing anything else. But I want to do like an a mindfulness for entrepreneurs kind of reset and re envision.
Bridget Moroney 50:09
And this will be like a virtual. Yeah, retreat for me. Yeah. Nice. I feel like you did that last year. I feel like I remember you. Or maybe I know at some point there, but I remember, you've done the virtual retreat before. So that's awesome. So new one will be coming out in the coming weeks here. So definitely check that out. On Lineliz's link in bio.
Lineliz Vassallo 50:32
Yeah. Thank you for me.
Bridget Moroney 50:36
Yeah, thank you for being on here. And obviously, genuine, heartfelt gratitude for you being my friend, and fellow entrepreneur, and just all the things that we get to share with each other and the ways you've helped me get through certain things, including this podcast. Yeah, definitely appreciate it. Always, always fun to have you on the show Lineliz . So love and appreciation for you and a lot of gratitude for anyone who is listening to this episode, whether it's your first episode, or if you've been a longtime listener, because as Lineliz will tell you being a coach for entrepreneurs, it is a very lonely and difficult journey. And so seeing the fact that people actually listen to my show and enjoy it, and comment gives me that that little bit of boost of motivation to keep going so yeah, yeah, so thank you. Thank you, Lineliz. Please thank you to people listening. Thank you to anyone who's been on the show, and has shared their wisdom and passion for all things. health, nutrition, fitness, mindset, mindfulness, all the fun stuff that we get to talk about. Giving Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate happy, all the things happy all the things, happy all the things, take care of yourselves. Do some loving kindness meditations. Show some love to your friends, your family yourself your dog. Yeah, see you next time. Bye. All right. That's all for today's show. Thank you so much again for listening. And be sure to head over to aspire to coaching.com backslash podcast, check out the show notes for today's episode. There you'll find some of the links we've mentioned on today's podcast, as well as some of the previous episodes we've done. And while you're there, please make sure you sign up For show updates. I am always updating the show and bringing in bonus content. So you do not want to miss out on any of that. One last thing. If you loved this episode, and you think a friend would really enjoy it as well. Grab the link and share it out for me please. It really does help spread the word of this podcast and the topics that we discussed on our episodes. And at the end of the day. My goal is to empower as many people on their performance journey as possible. Thank you all so much again, and we'll see you next time.